That place between

I haven't been keeping up with this blog, but I do make notes from time to time of things I imagine I'm going to share with you - about birds and kids and living off-grid in the forest. I may never share them, but the intention is there, so stick with me and I'll do my best. Let's talk about what I have been doing that has kept me so busy, though. For those that don't know, I have conquered a lot in the past few years. I give myself a pat on the back for that, because giving myself a pat on the back is something I can do now. I am stronger than I think I have ever been in my life (mentally, but physical is next, which is why I've been seeking out a weight bench). I have worked really hard and opened a lot of boxes filled with a lot of demons. I have been through about 15 lifetimes for my 36 years of life. I have been in some of the darkest places anyone could be in - and now I'm in some of the brightest. My anxiety is down about 80%. My d...

If it seems like I am babbling, reaching, or otherwise not making too much sense, it's because I'm doing exactly those things in the search for that piece of inner wisdom. I have the best of intentions when it comes to writing a blog. When I make that first post, I am confident I will write at least a little bit every day. Sometimes, my head is full of a million ideas I can write about, but I don't jot them down. I just roll them around in my head until I get distracted and then I go find something else to do. There is, after all, always an excuse to *not* write. If I don't write today, I can just chuck it all up to a failure and say I tried writing and it didn't work out for me again. I want to do that because it's the easier way out. I want to do that because then I can't *actually* fail so much as I can just say I did and not have to put forth the effort and see how it pans out. Honestly, I know it is part of my depression and anxiety that holds m...